Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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