somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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