my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize