So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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