Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
