If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
