dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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