I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
