I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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