I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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