Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
