Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
