O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
