Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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