...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
