I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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