Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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