some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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