Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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