i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
