i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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