i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize