note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
