What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
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how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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