At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize