weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize