It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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