K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize