Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
