Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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