At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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