batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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