We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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