Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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