I CAN MOONWALK!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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