Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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