If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
