I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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