Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize