Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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