Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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