So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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