Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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