do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
