sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize