She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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