try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
