Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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