After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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