I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
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