Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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