his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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