she woke up with a sticky ear
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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