I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
