He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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