Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize