just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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