I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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