I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
North Korea, Best Korea!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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